I went to a Psychologist and here's what I learnt about therapy

 I went to therapy during a tough phase in my life as we all probably find ourselves in sometimes. I chose by my own accord to try therapy. I already had an interest in psychology since I was a teenager. I also watched, The Sopranos, one of the greatest TV shows of all time which incorporated therapy as one of the main plot lines and I thought, let me give therapy a shot.

The point of this article is to help anybody who might find themselves in a place where they need help and want to find the right therapist but don't have the information on the same. I'm writing here my observations, experience and learnings that I wished I knew before I picked my first therapist.

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She was a good listener and I felt good after talking to her in the sessions most of the time. She was considerate about extending the time limit after each session to maintain continuity and allow me to complete in a flow.

She listened patiently, although at times she would provide some conclusions and advice where it was not necessary and which I didn't agree with. She charged reasonably. She seemed friendly and trustworthy.

If you're thinking now, well it's all good, you would be jumping the gun. There are many things to pay attention to. I continued going to her despite some hunches I picked up, which you shouldn't  do.

She didn't seem to be updating herself and keeping up with the times. 

She wasn't flexible with improving her thinking and approach. This could be a sign of irrational thinking. I picked up a hunch when I saw a Sadhguru book (What the World Should Know About Sadhguru) in the mini library in the waiting room. If she's reading a pseudoscientific book instead of new books on modern psychology, that would be regression not progress.

Some parts of her approach, seems like she has picked up and retained an outdated and irrational view which has already been dismissed by most modern psychologists. For example, she said to me in a session, "The mind plays tricks on you". Although she said this to be helpful and in a positive way, it is nonetheless irrational.

Link to article from Psychology Today on the flaws of classical psychology and the difference between Classical Psychology and modern Psychology:

Does the Unconscious Really Exist?

With the growing acceptance of psychology and talk about mental health these days, it is important to remember that psychology is not an exact science. There are plenty of variables (for example, approach and competence of one psychologist may vary from another) and subjectivity here. Not to mention, misconceptions (for example, hypnosis).

Link to article from Psychology Today on the misconceptions around Hypnosis:

The Truth About Hypnosis

If possible, be clear and upfront with what you want from the session.

For example, if you just want to speak casually about the problems in your life without looking for advice, then you can just say that. So that they don't apply a generalized, one size fits all approach which won't really make sense.

Do not hesitate to try a new therapist if necessary. 

If the views and approach don't match or don't make sense or if you don't connect to the therapist, do try another one. It could be counter productive to continue with a therapist that is not the right one for you. Simply change the therapist and try to find one you can connect with and you'll be on the right track again.

The psychologist doesn't have to be right all the time.

You don't have to be in agreement with the psychologist all the time. Remember, 'the psychologist' is a human being as well and it's possible for them to be irrational at times.

Hence, it would be prudent to always think rationally and independently and dismiss what is irrational and not useful.

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